Written by Wida Kamal

On the plane, I fell into a very interesting conversation with an educated Christian woman who was sitting next to me.  We began talking about religion, and she made a very surprising comment, which showed me just how very little Americans know about Islam.  She said that every time she saw a Muslim woman covered with the headscarf, she felt an impulse to snatch the scarf off her head and force her husband to wear it instead.  My first reaction upon hearing this was to put my hands on my scarf, because I couldn’t help thinking that’s how she must feel about me.

The events of September 11^th awakened the American public unlike any preceding incident. President Bush said it was an attack on our freedom and thus began the new campaign against terror, “project liberation of freedom”.  Everywhere one turned, the word freedom would pop up, whether it was in the media, on bumper stickers, or in the catchy slogans of advertising companies.  Suddenly, FREEDOM became the most important word in our vocabulary, and thus, we were told it must be preserved at all costs.  All of this became the stimulus for the new “war on terror”.  Attention also turned towards Islam during the aftermath of September the 11^th.  Islam became notorious for being the cause of the attack on our freedom.  All eyes turned towards Afghanistan and subsequently, towards the regime of the Taleban, who used Islam to justify their treatment of women.  As a Muslim woman and especially as an Afghan woman, I became targeted by many non-Muslims, who kept asking me if my religion really oppressed women the way the media portrayed.  

One such incident occurred during a flight on a recent trip with my husband.  On the plane, I fell into a very interesting conversation with an educated Christian woman who was sitting next to me.  We began talking about religion, and she made a very surprising comment, which showed me just how very little Americans know about Islam.  She said that every time she saw a Muslim woman covered with the headscarf, she felt an impulse to snatch the scarf off her head and force her husband to wear it instead.  My first reaction upon hearing this was to put my hands on my scarf, because I couldn’t help thinking that’s how she must feel about me.  Well, after an hour’s discussion on the topic, she shook my hand and said “Thank you! Thank you for enlightening me and showing me the true position of women in Islam.  I have learnt so much from you and you have helped me change my view of Muslim women”.   I also learnt a lot from my conversation with her, and I realized what a great need there is for my fellow non-Muslim Americans to know what Islam really has to say about women. 

I have been Muslim all my life and I have been raised and educated in this country since kindergarten, so I can safely say that I have analyzed and compared both the Western and Muslim lifestyles, and I truly feel that Islam gives women a lot more freedom. While some of my readers may not agree with me just yet, I am hoping that by the end of this paper, they too will realize just what a beautiful and liberated position women actually have in Islam!

Throughout history, women have been greatly oppressed in almost every civilization.  In fact, even the term “woman” is derogatory.  It is actually two smaller words, woe and man, put together to signify that woman brought woe (misery, grief, sorrow, etc) to man, since according to Biblical teachings, Eve seduced Adam into eating the fruit from the “Forbidden Tree” and thus caused his and all of mankind’s subsequent downfall.  The Romans felt women were no better than slaves, while the early Christians were not even sure if women could be called human beings.  The Greek Orthodox Church denied that a woman had a soul and at the Council of Macon, a Bishop vehemently asserted that a woman did not belong to the human species. (Westermarck, p.663).

In Asia, women were not treated any better. Hinduism, which is the one of the oldest religions of the world, described women as such: “In childhood a female must be subjected to her father, in youth to her husband, when her husband is dead, to her sons; a woman must never be independent” (Manu, V 140). Unfortunately, many women were forced to sacrifice themselves by jumping onto their husband’s burning funeral pyre, because they were taught that a life without their husband was meaningless and futile.  And even in western Europe and North America, until these past few decades, women could not own property, make a contract, inherit property, or vote.  Great female British writers, such as Jane Austen and Fanny Burney, produced many examples in their novels of rich heiresses who were defrauded of all of their wealth by their husbands who would either gamble their property away or spend it lavishly.  

In Cecilia: The Memoirs of a Heiress by Burney, she discusses how Cecilia can not marry the man of her choice, because her dowry is not high enough to gain the approval of his aristocratic family.  For in England, as well as France and other countries, all of a wife’s property and money became her husband’s upon marriage. The law supported this, because women were considered the property of men, which is why they were forced to take their husband’s name after marriage and give up all their wealth to them. In Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, a widow and her three daughters are forced to leave their home upon the death of their father and be greatly reduced in their finances, because their father’s estate was entailed to their older brother and his family.  When the youngest daughter exclaims against the cruelty of this situation, her older sister replies “In England, houses go from father to son dear, not from father to daughter. That is the law.”

Thus, there was a real need for a movement to emancipate and elevate women, and the women’s liberation movement emerged.  Early feminists realized that there were too many dual standards of law in favor of men and sought to end the double standards, many of which was influenced by Christian doctrine.   Through their hard work and diligence, they were successful in obtaining many rights for women, such as the right to vote, own property, obtaining a fair divorce, among others.  However, as time passed, feminism evolved into a movement that lost its true essence of combating social and political injustice by accepting the belief that the shortest path to complete equality lies in making women the same as men.  And this is why it failed, because science and nature has proved that men and women are biologically, physically, and emotionally very different.  The feminist movement tried to strip women of their feminine natures and turn them into clones of men, because unfortunately, they felt that this was the only way for women to achieve true equality with men.  This, however, only became a new way for restraining and confining women by forcing them to fit a very unnatural mold. 

So how does Islam give women freedom? Well, let’s begin by defining the term freedom.  According to Webster, freedom is “1. The state of being free from restraints; 2. Liberty of the person from slavery, oppression, or incarceration; 3. Exemption from unpleasant or onerous conditions.”  Using these 3 definitions as guidelines, let us compare and contrast the status of women in the West and Islam to prove exactly how Islam gives women ULTIMATE freedom.

1.      “The state of being free from restraints”

One can only be completely free from any restraints by rejecting to worship everything except the Creator, for only the Creator is worthy of our devotion, nothing else.  This is the basic creed of Islam, and what Muslims believe.  When a person fully understands the meaning of this creed, they will be liberated from all kinds of slavery.  They reject to become the slave of anyone or anything, and that includes idolizing actors or singers, worshipping money, or becoming enslaved to the fashion industry, etc. etc.  Women especially are “slaves to fashion”.   It is hard to believe that more than 33 billion dollars are spent yearly on cosmetics and weight loss programs alone, not to mention another 11 billion dollars spent on perfume.  Astounding, isn’t it? Well, these numbers are for the West alone.  With such a billion-dollar makeup and fashion industry, it really is no wonder that women have indeed become slaves to this all-consuming industry.  

We no longer decide what our wardrobe will be, but instead we let Vogue and Cosmo decide for us.  And everywhere, clothes are becoming more and more revealing.  Most women even feel uncomfortable leaving the house without makeup on.  We are no longer in control of our bodies or ourselves. Women are no longer judged by their inner worth but rather by their physical appearance.  In actuality, the fashion and makeup industry can only survive by exploiting women and making them completely dependent, enslaved.  Many women spend most of their income on cosmetics, creams, and lotions to become more beautiful. Of course, there are millions of women who go even further extreme by having cosmetic surgery done. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), there were over 5.7 million cosmetic surgical procedures done in the year 2000. There was a 25% increase in procedures between 1999 and 2000, and 173% increase between 1997 and 2000.  2.5% of total procedures were people under age of 18. In 2002, there were 6.9 million procedures done, an increase in 228% since 1997. It’s a real tragedy that women feel they need to have an operation and go through all that pain and turmoil just to become “more beautiful” or more “acceptable”.

Hence, we have the billion-dollar make-up industry that thrives and rises with each incoming year.  This constant exploitation is destroying women morally, psychologically, and spiritually.  Our society has become so obsessed with this notion of beauty, that we are sacrificing the well being of all women to this all-consuming monster.  Each year, more and more women are suffering from insecurity and depression than before.  A study done by B. P. Dohrenwend in the American Journal of Sociology shows that prior to 1950, for every 7 men diagnosed as mentally ill, only 2 were similarly diagnosed.  However, after 1950, the ratio drastically changed to 22 women for every 2 men.  This is only one sad consequence of women’s enslavement to physical beauty.  Another obvious and equally devastating result is the rise of diets and eating disorders. Teenage girls, who can’t afford surgery, usually turn to eating disorders such as anorexia and bulemia to get the body they want.  Women all over North America are starving themselves in order to fit a mold formed for them by the false ideas of a consumer and superficial society.  The American Anorexia and Bulemia Association states that Anorexia and Bulemia strike 1 million women every year.  And every year, 150,000 American women die from Anorexia alone. Now, we begin to see the fatal consequences of worshipping beauty. 

To my fellow America sisters, I say free yourself from these restraints! Free yourself from these unnecessary restrictions and rather than spending so much time on your physical appearance, focus your energy on forming a beautiful character, because a beautiful soul shines through any container.  We need to forget everything society has taught us about the value of beauty, and realize that true beauty really does come from within.  We need to free ourselves and our minds.  The easiest and best solution to achieve this level of freedom is through Hijab. 

Hijab is an Arabic word, which literally means to cover or conceal and is now used to describe the dress code of a Muslim woman.  Many feel that Hijab is degrading and oppressive towards women, but that’s only because they do not properly understand it.  Hijab is actually a beautiful gift given to women to protect themselves from the ills that haunt society today.  When a woman leaves her tight, fashionable clothes and dons the modest clothing and headgear that characterize most Muslim women, they feel a rejuvenated sense of freedom.  Why? Because they no longer worry about how others judge their appearance. 

When I am dressed in my Hijab, I expect that when people look at me, they don’t view me as a sex symbol, but rather as a woman who has decided that her body is not public material for the world to see.  When I need to leave the house to run an errand, I don’t have to waste half an hour in my closet deciding what to wear that will make me most attractive.  Nor do I spend another hour fixing my hair and makeup so I look my best, because I really don’t care how others view my appearance and more importantly, I don’t want to be judged by my exterior.  I don’t have to worry on finding the right outfit that will be most flattering to my figure, or that exact shade of lipstick, which will be most complimentary to my skin tones.  Thus, I free up a lot of time that would have otherwise been uselessly spent very superficially.  Time, that I can put to much better use! 

Another point I wanted to make about the superficiality of beauty is the fact that most fashion magazines airbrush women’s faces in order to make them look younger and more perfect.  Bob Ciano, an art director at Life magazine, says that “no picture of a woman goes unretouched”.   In Islam: The Choice of Thinking Women, Ismail Patel states that “Airbrushing age from women’s faces has the same political echo as making black people look white: it is condescending, insulting, and offensive.  To make women look younger, thinner, and more curvaceous is to erase women’s true identity, worth, power, and history.  This is the most damaging type of oppression and women in the West are slowly waking up to it.  This is the one reason why young educated women in the West have found the sincere teachings of Islam to be so attractive.”

I want to share the experience of one of my closest friends with my readers in order for them to better assess the importance and value of Hijab.  She too had unfortunately fallen to the trap that the modern western woman of today is suffering from.  When she would dress for a party, she would spend hours dressing and undressing till she found the right outfit and then, begin applying makeup with exact precision in order to resemble the  cover of a fashion magazine.  At first, she would be very happy with the result and think she looked pretty stunning.  But when she would reach the party and see someone better dressed than or with a prettier face, her self-esteem would crumble, and her night would be ruined. And she is not alone, for most women have gone through similar ordeals.  However, she was lucky in that she was able to escape from this cyclone of emotional disaster, for she soon realized the way to true happiness and inner peace lay in wearing Hijab. She tells me that she felt a lot more comfortable with herself and her body after wards.  She was also able to enjoy herself a lot more at social events, because she was free to relax and not care that someone else looked better than she did. Her priorities altered completely, and she felt sorry for the other women who had not escaped from the cyclone.

We women need to wakeup and realize that we are more than an hour-glass figure and pretty smile.  If we ever want to be taken seriously by members of the opposite sex and if we want to earn their respect, we need to dress modestly in Hijab so that they can’t judge us by our bodies.  We need to take control and make men look beyond the exterior, and notice us for who we are as a person.  I used to work in Corporate America, so I know firsthand that Hijab works.  Being an engineer, many of my co-workers were male, but I never had any issues of sexual harassment.  In fact, my co-workers actually went out of their way not to make any jokes or say anything that I would find offensive.  They showed me immense respect and treated me like an equal. Obviously, men respect women who respect themselves. 

By wearing Hijab, we will gain much more control over our bodies, and thus we will improve our self-image.  Our young teenage sisters will no longer need to starve themselves, because they will realize by wearing loose clothing, people will no longer know how thin or fat they actually are.  And when people don’t know, people don’t care!  When women begin turning to Hijab and fully internalize the concept of Hijab, a radical change will occur in society.  Women will be happier and freer than they have ever been before.  Depression rates among women will drop, and their self-confidence will surge.  They can save their hard-earned cash for more important things than makeup and designer clothing.  Of course, the fashion and cosmetic industry will not like this change and will do everything in their power to fight such a revolution.  Because we live in a capitalistic society, the media will help them wage their war, but we must never give up, for as we have learned, the consequence of losing this battle is all too fatal! 

Also, I need to mention that Islam does value beauty, but everything has its time and place.  For example, a husband and wife are equally required to beautify themselves for each other to enhance and improve their relationship.  For women, their husbands are the most important men in their lives, and if they spent as much time dressing up and trying to please their husbands as they do other males, marriages would be a lot more successful in this country.  Of course, this goes equally for men as well.  When a husband and wife try their utmost to please one another rather than all of society, what a beautiful and loving relationship they will have!   Thus, Islam doesn’t prohibit women from dressing up and looking beautiful, but only when it is done for their husbands, who after all should be the only male opinion that is important in a woman’s life. 

Many of the strongest advocates of Hijab are women who converted to Islam from other faiths, because their previous experiences without it help them to better appreciate Hijab when they do choose to wear it.  Here are some words on Hijab from a Japanese woman, Nakata Khaula, who recently embraced Islam.  She writes:

The benefits of observing hijab became clear to me following a lecture at the mosque when I kept my scarf on even after leaving the building. The lecture had filled me with such a previously unknown spiritual satisfaction that I simply did not want to remove it. Because of the cold weather, I did not attract too much attention but I did feel different, somehow purified and protected; I felt as if I was in Allah' s company. As a foreigner in Paris, I sometimes felt uneasy about being stared at by men. In my hijab I went unnoticed, protected from impolite stares. My hijab made me happy; it was both a sign of my obedience to Allah and a manifestation of my faith. I did not need to utter beliefs, the hijab stated them clearly for all to see, especially fellow Muslims, and thus it helped to strengthen the bonds of sisterhood in Islam. Wearing the hijab soon became spontaneous, albeit purely voluntary.[1]

In conclusion, freedom being defined as “the state of being free from constraints” for women can only be reached when women begin taking control over their bodies and observing Hijab.

2.      “Liberty of the person from slavery, oppression, or incarcerations”

Women will achieve true freedom when they no longer have to worry about being in an oppressive relationship.  According to a study done by the OASIS (Opposing Abuse with Service, Information, and Shelter) center, everyday four women are murdered by their husband or boyfriend.  That means, every day we lose four of our sisters to domestic violence.  And sadly, the number is rising.  One question we need to ask ourselves is why do men turn to battering their wives or girlfriends?  According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV.org), men use violence in order to gain and keep control over women.  Feminism preaches that women are just as equal in the same way as men and thus should be in complete control over their own lives.  As women began believing this theory of “empowerment”, they began challenging their husbands and boyfriends for control in the relationship.  Men turned to violence to re-assert their control over their women.  I am not in any way at all condoning or justifying men’s animalistic behavior, but I only wanted to point out the flaws in the Feminist movement, which overlooked the fact that men tend to be physically stronger and bigger than women.  Thus we can not expect men and women to be treated the same. 

In most relationships, men naturally are the leaders because of their strength and size, and the consequences of going against the natural order has led to this high rise in domestic violence in the west.  Ask any woman in an abusive relationship, and she will tell how trapped and imprisoned she feels.  She fears that by leaving the relationship, her oppressor will track her down and kill her, but if she stays, she has to suffer the emotional and physical abuse every day.  The feminist movement tried to empower women by making them want the control and power in the relationship, but the backlash has been severe in having them be even more imprisoned than they were before.  In Islam, the Quran (authentic text revealed to the last Prophet Muhammad from God) says:

  "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect" (Qur'an 30:21).

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they spend to support them from their means.” (Quran 4:34).

So, in an Islamic relationship, in order to achieve tranquility and love, the male and the female each have their subsequent role.  Men are the protectors of women, because God has made them physically stronger, and thus they are given the role of the “head of the household”.  At the same time, men are required to work and provide for women out of their earnings.  A man can not force his wife to work in order to bring in more income, nor does he have any right to her money.  This will be explained in greater detail in the next section of this paper. 

Also, in Islam, a man is not allowed to beat and batter his wife.  The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) never, ever even raised his hand to any of his wives, and he strongly rebuked other men who did so.  He constantly reminded men that God shows mercy to those who show mercy to others.  A man who takes the life of his wife through domestic violence will be charged and punished to highest extent by Islamic law.  For murder is a high crime, and the punishment for someone who takes an innocent life is death.  Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that one a person takes an innocent life, it is as if he has taken the life of all of humanity.   [This is actually a verse from the Qur’an; Surah al-Maidah:32] Hence, by obeying their God-given roles, males and females don’t need to fight over the power struggle, and this opens the way for a more peaceful and lasting relationship. And this is the true “liberty of the person from oppression”! [This is not to suggest that there is no domestic abuse in Muslim societies.]

Another significant outcome of the feminist movement is the new emphasis on unrestricted sexuality.  I say new, because up until the past couple decades, dating was even frowned upon in this country and premarital sex was a huge taboo, and usually led to a family’s dishonor.  Then came the sexual revolution of the 70s. However, now, it’s quite the reverse and it seems that many youth are actually ashamed of being virgins.  The average age a girl loses her virginity in this country is somewhere between 13-15 years old.  The feminist movement tried to “empower” women by encouraging them to be sexually open.  However, the scary results of this “openness” have shown just how dangerous such thinking can be.  According to a survey published by the National Victim center, 683,000 woman were forcibly raped in the year 1990.  The survey also estimates that more than 12 million American women have been raped once in their lifetime, and almost 80% of the victims knew her aggressor.  Also, date rape is on the rise and new studies show that 1 out of 5 teenage girls will be a victim of physical or sexual violence in a dating relationship.  All this sexual licentiousness has led to more problems than one ever dreamed possible.  

How can a woman be free if by merely leaving her house, she fears getting attacked?  And why is that the women who suffer from rape are so terrified that most of them do not even report it?  The same survey states that for each rape that is reported, up to six others are not.  Is this the freedom the feminist movement was seeking?  Well, Webster states that freedom is achieved through “liberty of the person from slavery”.  When I was in 7^th grade, there was a girl on my bus stop who was pregnant, and she was only in the 8^th grade.  I remember how unhappy she looked every day, as she waited for the bus to come to take her to school.  Everyone used to stare and point and snicker at her.  Finally, around her 7^th or 8^th month of pregnancy, she just stopped coming to school.  I wonder whatever happened to her.  She probably dropped out of school to raise her baby.  How far can she have gotten without even finishing middle school?  Like many teenage mothers, she is probably working 2 to 3 jobs just to make ends meet.  In other words, she has become a virtual slave to her poverty.

The fact that the number of teenage pregnancies is so much higher here than most other places should point out that sexual freedom leds to life imprisonment and the ultimate loss of liberty.  And the irony is that feminists are more concerned with granting women the right to an abortion, as if this is the solution to this social ill!  But by legalizing abortion, one is belittling the problem and amplifying it rather than solving it.  Teenage girls are getting the message that they can fool around with whoever they want, and not have to worry about the consequences because there is always abortion!  But this is a self-destructive cycle that will lead them to bitter unhappiness, because the love they are craving will not be found through promiscuity.

The only solution is for women to regain their modesty and self-control and to realize that their bodies are very precious and should not be given to every John or Henry.  Deep down, men appreciate and love women more who are chaste and self-respecting.  After all, a man might want to have an affair with Marylin Monroe, but he would much rather marry Jacklyn Kennedy!  Men and women are not meant to have multiple partners like animals.  It goes against nature as well as religion.  All of this heightened and open sexuality has turned some humans into worse than animals.  Take for example the famous Ken and Barbie case of serial rapes and murders.  The wife “Barbie” befriends helpless young women and persuades them to come to her house, where then she ties them up and her husband rapes them over and over while she watches.  After they are through, they kill them and mutilate the body[2].  “Ken” turned to rape because he found it too easy finding a willing woman, and that it gave him more pleasure forcing someone.  Can human beings really commit such atrocities? What have we become?  Islam teaches control over one’s urges and desires, rather than giving way to them so wantonly.  When one curbs one’s desires, one gains true superiority of mind.

Another terrible consequence of pre-marital sex is the high rise in single family households, most of which are run by women.  According to Rhoda Lerman, well-known American novelist and leader of the feminist movement, nearly 77% of the poor in this country are women and children.  She herself wonders how successful that feminist movement is if such a high number of women are now living in poverty. Islam does not allow pre-marital sex, and thus protects women from such financial imprisonment.

Also, in cases of divorce, a Muslim man is 100% financially responsible for the child in Islam.  Some Muslim scholars even say that he needs to provide some kind of stipend to the mother of the child as well.  When women are free from this financial responsibility, they do not have to worry about making ends meet, and thus can live a healthier, more productive life. They can live an ideally free life.

3.      “Exemption from unpleasant or onerous conditions.”

Finally, we come to the last definition of the term freedom by Webster.  What exactly would constitute an unpleasant or onerous condition for women?  What immediately comes to my mind is the new-age idea of the “Super-mom”.  In case you are not familiar with this term, this is meant to denote the modern woman who juggles being a wife, raising her children, taking care of all the household duties, and at the same time having a successful career.  Sounds difficult? Ask any “super-mom”, and she’ll let you know that it is not an easy task.  It’s difficult enough managing a successful household, but taking on a career at the same time is an awesome undertaking.  We’ve come across many sitcoms and movies that show the new modern woman, rushing from work to home to pick up the kids from sports practice, and then coming home only to have to make dinner for the family.  She barely has any time for herself, and is it any wonder she always looks frazzled and stressed?  I am not saying it’s impossible to have both a successful career and family, but it is improbable, and sometimes, women will have to choose between the two.  Those who choose their careers over their families usually end up sacrificing precious time with their children, by putting them in day care centers or even worse, using the television set as the new babysitter.   

The consequence of all this has been the complete breakdown of the family structure.  That precious bond between mother and child is dwindling, and more children are turning to peers and TV for guidance.  Morality is almost non-existent among the youth now.  A new study shows that young children who spend a lot of time away from their mother are more prone to aggressive behavior.  The federally funded 10-year study consisted of more than 1364 preschoolers and showed that the more time kids spent away from their mothers, the more likely they were to develop behavioral problems.  This by itself should send off warning bells in our heads.  The natural and most appropriate role for a woman is that of a mother, and the proper and moral upbringing of her children should be her number one priority.  It is unfortunate that these days, even women who would like to stay home and raise their children are sometimes not given that choice.  Their husband forces them to work or they have no husband, and thus become the only means of support for their children.  In my last job, two of my co-workers were a husband and wife.  The wife suffered from severe depression and was forced to leave work for a couple months.  I was talking to her husband and saying how sorry I felt, and wouldn’t it be better if she left work all together and relaxed at home?  He immediately said no, and that it would not be fair for him to have to go to work every day, while she got to stay home and “do nothing”.  And that while has to work, so does she, because they are equals.

I was surprised at first, but the more I thought about it, I realized this is the equality that resulted from the feminist movement.  It is a very bizarre equality in which women are not even allowed to stay home because their husbands feel it is not “fair”.  After all, many of us have become so conditioned and programmed with the idea that men and women are exactly the same, that if this truly was the case, he would be right, and it would not be fair. However, the fact that his wife was suffering from depression is proof that men and women are not the same, and that having to work for some women, outside of the home, is not psychologically sound.  If it is a choice, that is a different matter, but science and nature has proved that women will breakdown faster from too much stress and burden. 

Islam realizes and understands women’s nature, which is why it dose not require women to work outside the home.  In Islam, a husband has absolutely no right in forcing his wife to work in order to bring in more income.  In fact, he is 100% responsible for all of her expenses, and even if she were to work, he has no right to a cent of her income.   Even if a wife makes more money than her husband, he is still required by Islamic law to provide for her and spend out of his pocket for her food and dress and whatever else she may need.  Muslim women are indeed very fortunate. 

After I married, I “retired” from my Engineering career and decided to stay home for a while to discover what I really wanted to do with my life. It was completely my decision and supported by my wonderful husband.  If you really think about our life in stages, it seems to me that from age 5, we are no longer in control of most of our time and lost a great portion of our freedom.  From that day on, we have to go to school everyday, and only have holidays, weekends and summertime off.  After we do this for 13 years, we have to go to university and spend another 4 years of stress and chaos until we get to finally graduate.  We think we are finally free, but no, suddenly we are thrust into the 9-5 hole, and we realize that even school was better than working, for at least we had 3 months off for summer! And for most of us, this is the life we lead until we are about 65 (if fortunate to live that long), and then, we finally get to retire, and spend our time actually doing what we want.  However at that age, we are usually too old to really enjoy it, and have too many aches and pains to actually do much.  I know I’m painting a very bleak picture, but for many of us, it’s reality, which is why I consider myself very fortunate to have this choice at so young an age.  Now, I get to devote my time to those things I always wanted to, like reading more, painting, etc.

Whenever I meet new people, they always ask me what I do, and I jokingly reply that I’m a “retired engineer”.  When they realize I am not working, they look very bewildered and ask “what do you do all day”?  They make it sound as if I’m some kind of alien or that I’m wasting my life by not working outside the home.  However, I have never enjoyed my days more, and I am truly thankful that I do have this choice.  I chose my husband based upon his Islamic character, because I knew he would never question the rights, which I am entitled to by my religion.   Thanks to Islam, I have such rights and freedom.

The feminist movement has tried to give women financial freedom by urging them to leave their homes and work outside alongside men.  However, the results have been far from successful.  For even though more women are working now than ever, 77 percent of the poor in this country are women and children.  One of the reasons for the high number of women living in poverty is the high disparity between wages for males and females.  Even right now, in the new millenium, women on the average only make 70 cents to the man’s dollar, according to a report by CNN Money.  And although 96% of working women have children, only 67% of them can enjoy maternity leave, without fear of jeopardizing their jobs.  Many employers even choose not to employ pregnant women because of the high cost of maternity leave. Also, according to Democracy For The Few by Michael Paranti, although 20 million mothers are working, 44 percent of single mothers remain below the poverty level.  Even women with college degrees earn only about the same as men with one to three years of high school. And like aforementioned, two out of three adults in poverty are women.  Another reason for women living in such poverty is the high number of divorces in this country. More than half of marriages end in divorce, and usually the entire responsibility of child care falls on the mother alone.  Only 5-10 percent of men pay alimony, and that too only for the first year.  For the remainder of the time, it is the mother’s responsibility to pay the cost of everything for her child.  Her situation becomes a grave burden for her to handle.

Is the modern western woman exempt from “unpleasant or onerous conditions”?  Absolutely not! Rather she is more imprisoned than most of the “poor Muslim women adorned with their burqas”.  Islam gives many rights to women, but perhaps one of the most important is the full support and monetary care for her children.  Even in cases of divorce, she may rest assured in knowing that her ex-husband must bear all the expenses for the upkeeping and maintenance of her children.  100% alimony is due to her until the child becomes an adult. This is fair and just and no religion or legal code protects women as Islam does!  Islam truly frees women from the burden of having to provide for the family.

Thus, we see the dark side of the “Woman’s Emancipation” in America.  In a sense it has freed women, but only freed them from the stability and protection of a home as well as the support of a husband who would provide for them.  We’ve created a society where even those women who do decide to stay home face a psychological crisis and feel as if they have very little self-worth.  They feel they are “wasting” their lives, and thus, have lost the sense of contentment and peace housewives had 50 years ago!

Homemaking is a very honorable job and a serious responsibility; it is the foundation on which healthy societies can be built. The societies that disrespect homemaking lose the homemakers and result in broken homes as can easily be witnessed in many parts of the world. And what’s even more shocking is that the real losers of the feminist movement have been the children.  Due to the broken homes, more than half of the children living in single-mother families are in poverty, as stated by Professor Jane Woldfogel from Columbia University.  According to a report by the U.S. Congress entitled Children’s Well-Being: An International Comparison, of the twenty major industrial countries, United States has the highest rate of youth deaths due to accidents, homicide, and other violence.  Suicide has become the third leading cause of death among U.S. youth.  And then of course, we had the school massacres, such as the one in Colorado, where 12 children and 1 teacher were gunned down by school kids.  These are all direct consequences of the women being taken out of their homes and away from their children. 

The loss of the family structure and subsequent removal of women from their homes have led to this catastrophe.  The TV has replaced the mother’s nurturing role in many American homes.  Tara Fisher, 35, a mechanical engineer who lives in Phoenix, explains that after she decided to leave her job to raise her children, she finally found the time to get to know them: “I didn’t know my children very well before. I saw them only at their worst time.  I would get home at dinnertime.  I would cram food into their mouths, and I would put them to bed.  I never got to see the good moments, only the tired, cranky ones.  Now I get to hear the genuine laughter of being a kid.”  For years psychologists and sociologists warned about a new generation gap that would directly result from career-driven parents, and the new “modern necessity” of two incomes which would leave parents little time for talks with their children.  If perhaps parents had more time to spend with their kids, rather than trying to make more money, children would not feel so neglected that they turn to drugs, violence, and sometimes even suicide to make up for the loss of care and nurturing so necessary to them.   

The freedom that Islam gives women would give her enough time to spend with her children in order to avoid these social ills and develop the moral character of the human beings she is entrusted to by God.  This is the ultimate duty of every woman who is a mother, and one when taken too lightly has the dire aforementioned consequences!

I would also like to stress that in Islam, unlike Christianity, a woman’s sole purpose is not to have children.  In the Bible it states: “Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness.  I permit no woman to teach or have authority over men; she is to keep silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.  Yet woman will be saved through bearing children, if she continues in faith and love and holiness, with modesty.” (I Timothy 2:11-15. In Islam, a woman has a greater purpose, and that is to serve God and his religion.  She alongside with man is to setup God’s Kingdom on earth.  When the Qur’an was first revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in Mecca, the first Muslim women played a very crucial and dynamic role in spreading its message.. They helped in every facet of society.  They were scholars, teachers, advisors, doctors, nurses, businesswomen, financial experts, mathematicians, poets, etc., etc.!  His wife, Ayesha, is considered one of the greatest scholars in all of Islamic history, and it was through her numerous narrations of hadeeth (the sayings of the last Prophet) that all Muslims have been able to gain a better understanding of their religion.

For me, the greatest epitome of a truly liberated women is the example of Khadijah.  She was a noblewoman of Mecca and a successful businesswoman. She was independent, beautiful, intelligent, trustworthy, and hard working. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to work for her and lead her caravans to other cities for trade. She was so impressed with his character and honesty, that she proposed marriage to him, even though she was 15 years his senior.  They were happily married for 25 years, each supporting and helping one another.  When Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had his first revelation from God through angel Gabriel, he was bewildered, confused, and terrified.  It was to Khadijah whom he ran to for comfort and support.  She listened to him and calmed his fears, while reassuring him and believing in him.  In fact, she is the first person who embraced Islam. 

I gave her example, because I also wanted to let my readers know that Islam does not prohibit women from working or having a career.  In fact, Khadijah ran her own business, and a very successful one at that!  Islam actually requires women as well as men to be educated and urges women to take an active role in society. 

CONCLUSION

Islam has proven to give women ultimate freedom because it seeks equity for women, not blind equality.  It seeks a complementary relationship between men and women, not a competitive one.  The Quran states “And women shall have rights, similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable.” (Al-Baqarah 2:228). I believe that the number one reason why feminism failed to empower and free women is because it has generally denied any differentiation between the sexes, and rather sought a unisex society in order to achieve equal rights for women.

That is the key difference between Islam and feminism- similar rights not the same rights, or rather equitable rights rather equal rights.  What exactly is the difference between equity and equality?  Well, let’s say I have 2 dollars in change.  In my right hand I have four quarters, but in my left hands I have 10 dimes.  I still have the value of a dollar in each, so that it is equitable.  If I had four quarters in each hand, then the better definition would be equal amounts.  Thus men and women can not have the same equal rights, because as mentioned before, science and nature have proved that men and women have been given different capabilities by their Creator, and thus different tasks based upon those capabilities.  Islam gives them equitable rights so that the total amount is equal.  This is the only basis for building a healthy and prosperous society, one that fosters natural and lasting ties between men and women.  Islam liberates women from this newfound modern tyranny that declares she must become a man in order to have any sense of self worth or achievement.  Islam allows her to reach her maximum potential as a human being by promoting her natural duties and talents.  When a woman is forced by society out of her home and into the competitive world created by men, she will suffer and society will suffer. 

In Islam, women are to be treated with respect and kindness, especially from men. Even in his last sermon, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) warned men to be just and fair to their wives and to treat them with kindness: “O People it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under God's trust and with his permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers.”

Men are in no way superior to women, for God states in the Quran “O mankind! We created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you might get to know one another. Surely, the noblest of you in the sight of God is he/she who is the most righteous.  Allah is All-Knowledgeable, All-Aware.” (49:13). The above verse clearly shows that what makes one person better than another is piety or righteousness, not gender or race or age or wealth or anything else for that matter. 

I’ve had some non-Muslim friends try to justify their stereotype about Muslim women by pointing to the example of some “Muslim” countries.  I just want to say on that point that those countries may have a high Muslim majority, but that they are not following Islamic codes and ethics, so they cannot be considered an “Islamic” country.  Take the United States for example.  Though the highest majority here is Christian, would we consider this a Christian country?  No, because the law is secular.  There are a lot of cultural norms that oppress women in every country, but only Islam truly understands women and has for over 1400 years now, elevated and liberated them.

 Biography

1.   Time May 4 1992 “Unsettling Report on An Epidemic of Rape”
2.      NCADV
3.      Time August 27 2001 “When Dating is Dangerous”
4.      Time June 15 1998 “Where’d you Learn that?”
5.      Time October 16^th 2000 “When Mother Stays Home”
6.      Time April 19^th 2001 “Do Preschools and Nannies Turn Kids into Bullies?”
7.      Equity not Equality. http://www.albalagh.net/women/equity_equality.shtml
8.      Home Sweet Home. http://www.albalagh.net/women/home.shtml
9.      Veil: The View from the Inside. http://www.albalagh.net/women/hijab.shtml
10.   Gender Equity in Islam. 
11.   Women Between Islam and Western Society. Maulana Wahiduddin Khan, 1997
12.   Democracy for the Few. Michael Parenti, 1995
13.   Domestic Violence in the West. 
14.   Harsh Reality.
15.  Islam and the Feminist Movement. 
16.  Cosmetic Surgery Statistics http://surgery.org/stats2002/2002_stats.pdf
17.  ISLAM: The Choice of Thinking Women. Ismail Adam Patel, 1997.
18.  The Beauty Myth. Naomi Wolf, 1991.