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For any prophet to marry and beget
children is quite natural. It is the norm, not the exception. [Qur'an,
13:38]. The practice of polygamy[1] by prophets relates to
their mission. Through marital bonds with different tribes and clans,
prophets sought to bind various peoples together and reduce their
enmity. Polygamy was practiced by many great Biblical [and Qur'anic]
prophets, including Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon. According to
the Bible, some of those prophets are said to have had dozens of wives
and concubines.[2]
Unlike adultery by those who are
officially "monogamous", polygamy in itself is not immoral.
It has been practiced in many cultures throughout history. It is
simply another alternative form of family structure suited to certain
circumstances and social needs in different times and cultures.
Examples of such needs include caring for widows and orphans of
victims of wars or dealing with demographic problems such as
occasional imbalances in the sex ratio. Polygamy has been practiced as
well by various religious communities, including some Jews, Christians
and Muslims.[3]
In fact, the Qur'an is the only
monotheistic holy book that explicitly limited, restricted and
regulated the then unregulated practice of polygamy [Qur'an, 4:3;
129]. Yet, due to the wide circulation of erroneous information about
Islam, many have the impression that Islam introduced this form of
marriage.
Among all great polygamous prophets,
Prophet Muhammad is often singled out for criticism for practicing
polygamy in the last few years of his life. In fact, none of his
marriages raise any question about his chastity and moral excellence.
Some ask, however, why did Prophet Muhammad
limit his followers to a maximum of four wives, while he
himself exceeded that maximum? [4]
The question itself reflects a
serious misunderstanding. These limits, also the exception of the
prophet were all divine instructions in the Qur'an, which to Muslims
is the word of God, not the word of Muhammad or his own instructions
or exceptions. After all, the practice of unlimited polygamy was
common and socially accepted in pre-Islamic Arabia. If it were true
that the Prophet wished to have more than four wives that "he
restricted" his followers to, then why did he
"restrict" them in the first place? Why not "live and
let live"? A related question is this: Why did the Prophet limit
himself to one wife [Khadijah] for the prime time of his youth and
manhood, from the age of 25 until he was 50 years old when she died?
This lengthy monogamous marriage spanning most of his marital life
took place when polygamy was socially accepted and widely practiced
and before any Qur'anic revelation restricting such a practice and
limiting the number of wives to a maximum of four. To claim that the
Prophet was untruthfully "making up" or forging verses in
the Qur'an to "give himself" an exception, is inconsistent
with his integrity and acknowledged truthfulness. It is also utterly
contrary to reason.
A legitimate question however is
this: why did God make such an exception to the Prophet? Like some
other prophets before him, Prophet Muhammad was not only a prophet,
but also a head of a community and eventually a political entity. As
the central personality of both faith and community, he was in a
unique position to reconcile various warring peoples to one another,
reconcile the hearts of his enemies and fulfill his mission through
the most peaceful means possible. An effective means of achieving this
mission in a tribal society is bonding through marrying women from
these tribes or clans.
This is one of the likely
explanations of the Prophet's marriage to Umm Habibah, daughter of his
archenemy, Abu-Sufian. Umm Habibah migrated to Abbysinia with her
husband due to persecution of Muslims in Makkah. Her husband apostated
there and invited her to apostate like him but she refused and
remained steadfast in her faith. He later died there. The Prophet
offered to marry her and she accepted. Besides the humanitarian
gesture toward a helpless widow who was already rejected by her family
due to her faith, this marriage might have softened the heart of her
father, to a degree. In fact, he later embraced Islam and helped avoid
unnecessary bloodshed.
A similar case is his marriage to
Maymounah Al-Hilaaliyyah, a woman from Najd region who was twice
married before and whose people were party to the treacherous
cold-blooded murder of seventy of the Qur'anic memorizers who were
there on a peaceful educational mission. Instead of revenge and more
bloodshed, the Prophet married one of their women who needed care. As
a result of this act of kindness, her people were at least neutralized
and some embraced Islam.
To reconcile the hearts of those who
fought against him and to give a good example of treating war
captives, the Prophet himself freed three women captives and offered
to marry them. This act of magnanimity helped to blunt the hatred and
enmity of their clans. The offer to be wives of the Prophet himself
and become revered "Mothers of the Believers" was no small
feat and honor for them and their clans. It was also a remarkable
goodwill gesture by the Prophet toward those who unfairly showed
enmity to him and spared no effort in undermining his mission.
Juwairiyah, Safiyyah and Rihaanah fall in this category. In the case
of Juwairiyah, the example of the Prophet by freeing her resulted in
an immediate action by the victorious Muslims who freed all their
captives from her tribe. How could we have the in-laws of our Prophet
as war captives? they said. Juwayriyah's father, Al-Harith ceased
hostilities against Muslims and later embraced Islam.This seems to
illustrate one of the measures to free those in captivity and
gradually and smoothly end existing forms of slavery by drying up even
the last source of captivity; war captives.
Other marriages of the Prophet were
apparently intended to cement the relationship between the Prophet and
his closest friends and helpers. This category includes his marriage
to `Aishah and Hafsah daughters of his closest companions Abu-Bakr and
Umar.
In Hafsah's case there was another
humanitarian touch seen in other marriages of the Prophet as well;
teaching the community to take care of widows. This is especially true
of the widows and orphan children of those who sacrificed their lives
in defense of their faith and their community. Hafsah's former
husband, Khonays was a courageous defender in the Battle of Badr and
continued to fight in spite of his injuries. He later died because of
his injuries. That later motive is obviously behind the Prophet's
marriage to other martyrs' widows such as Zainab Bint Khozaymah [who
died shortly after her marriage to him] and Umm Salamah, who had four
orphan children to look after following the martyrdom of her husband.
The same caring attitude applies to his to Sawdah, an elderly widow he
married after the death of his first wife Khadijah. This marriage
opened the hearts of many of her clan to Islam.
One of the Prophet's marriages was
obviously for a legislative reason; his marriage to Zainab Daughter of
Jahsh. Zainab was a cousin of the Prophet. He persuaded her to marry
his freed slave and former "adopted son" Zaid. The apparent
reason for his encouragement, in spite of her reluctance was to break
the attitude of aristocracy where a person from a noble stock would
not consider marrying a commoner. The prophet sought to affirm the
egalitarian nature of Islam where a person should be evaluated only on
the basis of his/her qualities and moral conduct, not on the basis of
his/her socio-economic status. Marital problems between Zaid and
Zainab led eventually to divorce. The Arabs considered an adopted son,
the same as a biological son. They gave him his adopting father's
name, a custom that the Qur'an invalidated as it demanded truthful
lineal identity. [Qur'an, 33:4-5; 40] Since this custom was a taboo,
no one other than the Prophet was fit enough to start and lead the
breaking of that taboo and implement the new divine law. A careful
study of the Qur'an describes such a reason. It indicates that the
Prophet was commanded to initiate this change in a practical manner by
marrying Zainab, the divorcee of his former "adopted son"
Zaid [Qur'an, 33: 37-39]. Some writers forsook the most authentic
source of the Prophet's life; the Qur'an, in favor of less authentic
narrations even though some normally reliable historians reported it.
According to these often contradictory narrations, Zaid divorced his
wife so that the Prophet can legitimately marry her. Aside from the
unauthenticity of the story and its contradiction to the Qur'anic
explanation, it is totally illogical. Zainab, after all was a cousin
of the Prophet and he saw and knew her for decades as a close
relative. She would have been most honored to accept to marry the
Prophet if he wished. Why would the Prophet persuade her to marry his
former slave to dwell with her as her husband, then divorces her so
that the Prophet can marry her? Why not marry her before living with
another man as a wife? [5]
Another criticism of the Prophet
relates to his marriage to `Aisha, daughter of his companions Abu-Bakr.
Some point out that in the collection of Hadeeth by Bukhari, `Aisha
reported that her marital contract took place when she was six years
old, and that she did not
live with Prophet until three years later, after migration to Madinah.
Some refer to this marriage as "child molestation" or
"pedophilia". One wonder how such a respectable well-to-do
father as Abu-Bakr, would give his beloved daughter `Aisha to be
"molested" and with the blessings of his wife?
And how come none of the watchful critics and archenemies of
the Prophet never raised any question about this marriage, even though
they were, like some of today's critics, eager to find any fault that
may discredit the Prophet? This signifies that the marriageable age in
that culture at that time, may be in other cultures and times as well,
considered reaching adolescence [which may take place earlier in some
cultures] as an acceptable marriageable age. The fact that that they
were three years gap between the marital agreement and the dwelling of
`Aisha with the Prophet seems to support the existence of this custom.
In fact, `Aisha was engaged to another person before her parents
decided to marry her to the Prophet instead. This shows how common
this practice was. Needless to say that the successive increase of the
minimum marriageable age, after reaching adolescence, is an arbitrary
matter based on cultural and social norms, which is subject to change
with time, culture and other circumstances.
It should be noted that the special
exception to the prophet concerning the maximum number of wives [Qur'an,
33: 50] includes also special restrictions on him and his wives from
privileges available to all others. For example, his wives as
"mothers of the believers" were not allowed to remarry after
him [Qur'an 33: 53]. If the Prophet were required to divorce wives
beyond the maximum of four, it would have done them injustice; to be
divorced and disallowed to remarry. Furthermore, for each of the
Prophet's marriages there was a specific lesson, social or
legislative. By divorcing some of his wives, those lessons are
effectively negated, especially the unifying function of marrying
women from different clans and backgrounds. This diversity allowed
close observation of his private life and teachings and communicating
them to their respective folks. Also, unlike any ordinary Muslim, the
Prophet was not allowed to divorce any of his wives and marrying
others [33:52].
In conclusion, it should be noted
that when it comes to the Prophet's chastity, self-control and moral
excellence, there is no match. His role is a universal, virtuous and
practical one. He kept his chastity as an unmarried youth, maintained
real and faithful monogamy, for the prime years of his youth and
manhood; 25 years. Even
when he practiced polygamy, he did so for humanitarian and
reconciliatory reasons and in the last few and waning years of his
life. His extraordinary schedule and responsibilities, his regular
lengthy night prayers, his amazing achievements in such a short time,
all that precludes any notion of obsession with worldly pleasures.
Caring for women, especially older ones and for their orphan children
in a context of marital relationship is not necessarily and
exclusively a "sensual" matter, especially in such a social
setting. Those who try to blemish the noble character of the Prophet
only blemish their own objectivity and sense of fairness. May Allah
cure their hearts from hatred, borne of ignorance and pre-conceived
stereotypes and may He help all learn from the inspiring lives of all
great prophets instead of unfairly and ignorantly reviling any of
them. Gladly enough, the majority of their co-religionists do not
share their "logic" or for that matter their prejudicial,
offensive and hateful stances. Those from other faith communities who
spoke up against hatred and for mutual respect and peaceful
co-existence should be commended. Peace be upon all those who follow
the guidance of God, manifest His love in deeds before words and
sincerely promote human brotherhood and mutual understanding.
Endnotes
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A more correct term is polygyny
since the term polygamy includes multiple wives [polygyny] or
multiple husbands [polyandry]. The later form is not permissible
in Islam. However, since the term "polygyny" is
unfamiliar to many, the term " polygamy" is used to
refer to "polygyny" only.
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See for example, The Bible, II
Samuel 5:13 and Ikings 11:3.
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See for example, Edward A.
Westermarck, The History of Human Marriage, (5th Edition),
Macmillan and Co., London, 1935, Vol. 3, pp. 42-43 also T.K.
Cheney and S. Black (Editors), Encyclopedia Biblica, Macmillan,
London, 1935, Vol.3, p. 2946.
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The total number of consorts of
the prophet throughout his life was thirteen. Two of them died in
his lifetime [Khadijah and Zainab Daughter Khozaimah]. For 25
years his only wife was Khadijah. For another 3 years the only
wife living with him was Sawdah since `Aisha was still in her
father's home. For another two years, His wives living with him
were `Aishah and Sawdah. The polygamous period was mainly during
the last seven years of his life.
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For a more detailed treatment of
this and other marriages of the Prophet, check: www.islamicity.com/multimedia/Radio/RA200.
Scroll under "Series L: Muhammad the Last Messenger of Allah
to programs 4l-50. For a
general treatment of gender issues, check the author's Gender
Equity in Islam at: www.jannah.org
Aug/Sept
2002
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